Sometimes the trauma is too great to put into words. Statements like, “I can tell you’re hurt”, or “let’s look at it from a different perspective” send you into hiding. The hurt is too great to be minimized by someone’s words without deeply affecting your soul.
This type of hurt. The type someone else can’t speak away. Is the type that will eat you alive.
At it’s best, dealing with trauma in your life makes you feel weak. At its worst, it makes you feel ungodly.
The feeling ungodly is what eats away everything in your soul, and with every bit of advice from your brothers and sisters in Christ, the core of who you are diminishes little by little. With every single flippant “helpful” statement, with every single pity in people’s eyes, the enemy screams in your mind, “See, you’re harboring bitterness and anger. You’re so sinful. Since you’re still hurt, you must be unforgiving and you’re directly going against what God asks of you in his Word. You’re such a bad Christian.”
Cue the guilt and shame.
What we don’t realize is Satan is doing to us exactly what he did to Jesus in the garden. He’s twisting scripture in order for you to fear the future.
“Jesus, bow down and I’ll give you a kingdom” is really saying are you SURE simply following God is going to bring about the desired result?
“Hey Jesus, I’ll give you something to eat” is really saying are you SURE God is your provider or do you need to hedge your bets?
“Hey Christian, hurt and trauma are the same thing as unforgiveness and sin so just get over it and learn to trust God.”
Lies. Lies straight from the enemy that we buy hook, line, and sinker when we are in the depths of our hurt.
But we don’t have to.
We don’t have to be kept under the weight of this lie. The power to get out from under the weight of our trauma and find freedom can be ours.
How to Find Freedom from Deep Hurts and Trauma
Acknowledge the Pain
Quit worrying about sounding like a Christian for a moment and be honest with God. Did someone act rude, say mean things, treat you disrespectfully, devalue you, or hurt you deeply? Stop trying to paint them in a positive light to God and tell God how you really feel. Do you hate them? Do you wish they could have a deep understanding of what they did to you? Does it seem like God’s justice in not working in this situation? Tell God everything. Be honest and push into the pain. Dealing with trauma in your life requires some honestly with God.
Set up some boundaries
Are there certain people who throw guilt and shame your way? Who, as they try to help, end up minimizing the pain in a way that increases the trauma? Are you surrounded by people who want to “fix” you instead of enter in and walk with you? Then some boundaries are needed while God steps into that hurting hole in your heart. As you are dealing with trauma in your life, you need time for God to speak truth to you and remove the guilt and shame that comes from careless words thrown your way.
Find a Good Christian Counselor
We all have blind spots and see the world from our own vantage point. We all have our limitations. Deep pain and hurt is a limitation (notice I didn’t say sin!). Go sit with a trained “safe person” who can help you walk through the trauma without minimizing it or shaming you for it. You need some safe people in your life who can create a pathway for God to heal your hurt.
Listen, hurts are real. Pain is real. Some hurts you can quickly get over, and some rip at you deep down to your core. They hit into the essence of who you are. They break trust, make you feel devalued, mess with your head, overwhelm your emotions. These hurts are part of humanity and will come your way eventually. As you encounter them, don’t ignore them. Don’t let them be a roadblock to what God wants to do in your life. Instead, acknowledge the pain, set some boundaries, and find some professional help to enable you to let God heal you in His time with no guilt and shame attached.
Who you will be on the other side is worth the effort.